Stimulus Money

Stimulus Payments This is a payment given by the government to members of the populace who qualify based upon income (or lack thereof). The idea behind stimulus payments is that the individuals receiving the money will spend the "government " money on goods and products and stimulate the overall economy. There are a few problems with stimulus plans. First, the money is coming from collected taxes paid by the people who won't be receiving the stimulus, who could have spent it themselves if it hadn't been collected as taxes. Next, it is money found momentarily in the coffers of a broke government, which could help the economy by paying off some of its own astronomical debt. Just as important as the above problems are a few sad facts about where the stimulus money will go. If used to buy a new car, it will probably go to Japan or Korea. If used to buy a new TV, it will likely go to China. If the money is spent on gas for the car, it will go to the Arabs or another Middle Eastern country. If it is used to buy fruits or vegetables, the money will go to Mexico or Honduras. If a new computer is purchased, the stimulus will go to China, India, or Taiwan. In the event that generally useless but "important stuff" is bought, the funds will go, again, to China or Taiwan. Clothing purchases will help the economy of Vietnam, China, or Indonesia. So, how do we stimulate the U.S. economy with the "stimulus" funds? The most obvious place would be to shop at garage sales and purchase the stuff that someone else has already bought to help all the other countries. The snowballing problem there is that the seller will likely use the money to buy more "stuff" and support the foreign economies even more, so this isn't the ideal place for spending the money. There are only a few truly American ways to spend the stimulus money. First, buying a house will help somewhat. At least the builder, who may be an American, will have a job despite most of his income going to illegal aliens who will send their share to their home country. The lumber will likely have been grown here so there is a chance of helping our own economy. Next, and even better, is to spend the money on beer – domestic beer! Stuff brewed right here in the good old U.S., at least partially from crops grown here, might keep some of the money in domestic circulation. Another opportunity to help our own economy is to buy a Harley Davidson, a Milwaukee product, which is not only American, but fun to ride. Speaking of fun to ride, one might hire an American prostitute, not a foreigner who will send the money elsewhere, and they will spend their proceeds right here. They should be legalized and licensed then they, too, could become taxed and their taxes would add to the stimulus pot. This all leads to a simple summation. Get your stimulus money, find a ho in a biker bar, marry her and buy her a house and sit around drinking beer from now on. BE AN AMERICAN.